And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
