it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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