i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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