if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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