i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
