actually, I'm a sock model
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
jump out the window naked night went bad
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
