just come out here and I will go home with you...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
