Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
