Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
