boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
