So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
