Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
