Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize