Buhtt sex?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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