Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...