Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask