just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...