dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize