absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.