if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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