i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
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