i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
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He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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