Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
