we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
