what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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