The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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