a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
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