Your dad touched me again.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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