I saw his package. It spoke to me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
