You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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