lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
