don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
