I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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