Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
