Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
