Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
