oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
