Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I need to sanitize my soul.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
