so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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