Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
only if we run a train.
done.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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