He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
