also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
