pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You dont lie about slip and slides
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
