Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
