Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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