What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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