It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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