So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My vagina is officially offended.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
