Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
