i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
