I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
