whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
