the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
