Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
