all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize