I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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