32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize
