We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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