around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
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Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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