You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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