the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
